How to Stay in Love

“ Maybe if we focus on how we break things, we can figure out how to keep them from breaking. ” e.style.display='none');if(typeof getContentsSections==='function')setTimeout(getContentsSections,50)" /> This book reverse-engineers love. James Sexton has facilitated the demise of over a thousand marriages. He's not a therapist, but he has more access to the raw truth than one — clients tell him what they tell their therapist, accountant, best friend, financial advisor, and parole officer combined. His central argument: cheating and money fights are never the real reasons for divorce. They're sym

Lesson 1: Text your partner the small irritation now, before it calcifies

This principle from How to Stay in Love is backed by James J. Sexton's extensive research and real-world examples. Understanding it deeply can shift how you approach decisions, relationships, and long-term planning in meaningful ways.

Lesson 2: Stop assuming your spouse knows how you feel — ask and tell

One of the most counterintuitive ideas in How to Stay in Love: knowing when to stop is as important as knowing when to push. James J. Sexton argues that the clearest path to failure is an inability to define what 'enough' looks like for you personally.

How to Apply How to Stay in Love's Lessons

The real value of How to Stay in Love lies in its applicability. After reading, the most important step is identifying which of James J. Sexton's principles speak most directly to your current situation.

Consider keeping a journal while reading — noting where the ideas challenge your current approach and where they confirm what you already suspected. The friction of your own resistance often points to the most important insights.

Key Quote

"Text your partner the small irritation now, before it calcifies" — James J. Sexton, How to Stay in Love

About the Author

James J. Sexton is the author of How to Stay in Love. The book reflects years of research, observation, and synthesis of evidence from multiple disciplines.