Psychology
Secure Relating
by Sue Marriott · 2024 · 352 pages
★4.68· 225 ratings
Secure Relating
Our Nervous System Craves Connection and Safety
"At our core as human beings, the very foundation of our neural wiring causes us to crave love and belonging." Biological Survival Mechanism. Humans are fundamentally wired for connection as a survival strategy. Our nervous system is constantly evaluating safety and threat, oscillating between protective and connective states. This biological imperative drives our deepest relational needs and behaviors. Neurological Interdependence. Our bodies are not independent systems but interconnected ecosystems. From neural networks to microbiomes, we are fundamentally designed to interact, sync, and co-
Lesson 1: Our Nervous System Craves Connection and Safety
This principle from Secure Relating is backed by Sue Marriott's extensive research and real-world examples. Understanding it deeply can shift how you approach decisions, relationships, and long-term planning in meaningful ways.
Lesson 2: Attachment Styles Shape Our Relational Patterns
This principle from Secure Relating is backed by Sue Marriott's extensive research and real-world examples. Understanding it deeply can shift how you approach decisions, relationships, and long-term planning in meaningful ways.
Lesson 3: Recognize Your Emotional Activation States
This insight from Secure Relating challenges conventional wisdom about success. Sue Marriott demonstrates through research and case studies that how we think and feel about the subject matters more than technical knowledge or raw intelligence.
How to Apply Secure Relating's Lessons
The real value of Secure Relating lies in its applicability. After reading, the most important step is identifying which of Sue Marriott's principles speak most directly to your current situation.
Consider keeping a journal while reading — noting where the ideas challenge your current approach and where they confirm what you already suspected. The friction of your own resistance often points to the most important insights.
Key Quote
"Our Nervous System Craves Connection and Safety" — Sue Marriott, Secure Relating
About the Author
Sue Marriott is the author of Secure Relating. The book reflects years of research, observation, and synthesis of evidence from multiple disciplines.



