Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)

Dissonance is disquieting because to hold two ideas that contradict each other is to flirt with absurdity and, as Albert Camus observed, we humans are creatures who spend our lives trying to convince ourselves that our existence is not absurd. Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling that arises when we hold contradictory beliefs or when our actions contradict our beliefs. To alleviate this discomfort, we engage in self-justification, often without realizing it. This process can lead us to: Self-justification serves as a protective mechanism for our ego, but it can also prevent us fro

Lesson 1: Self-justification is the engine of cognitive dissonance

This principle from Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) is backed by Carol Tavris's extensive research and real-world examples. Understanding it deeply can shift how you approach decisions, relationships, and long-term planning in meaningful ways.

Lesson 2: Memory is a self-justifying historian, not an accurate record

This principle from Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) is backed by Carol Tavris's extensive research and real-world examples. Understanding it deeply can shift how you approach decisions, relationships, and long-term planning in meaningful ways.

Lesson 3: Blind spots prevent us from recognizing our own biases and mistakes

This principle from Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) is backed by Carol Tavris's extensive research and real-world examples. Understanding it deeply can shift how you approach decisions, relationships, and long-term planning in meaningful ways.

How to Apply Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)'s Lessons

The real value of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) lies in its applicability. After reading, the most important step is identifying which of Carol Tavris's principles speak most directly to your current situation.

Consider keeping a journal while reading — noting where the ideas challenge your current approach and where they confirm what you already suspected. The friction of your own resistance often points to the most important insights.

Key Quote

"Self-justification is the engine of cognitive dissonance" — Carol Tavris, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)

About the Author

Carol Tavris is the author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me). The book reflects years of research, observation, and synthesis of evidence from multiple disciplines.