The term “love bombing” refers to a pattern of overly affectionate behavior that typically occurs at the beginning of a relationship, often a romantic one, in which one party “bombs” the other with over-the-top displays of adoration and attention . This behavior can include showering the other person with gifts and/or compliments, declaring love early on, and/or taking steps to remain in constant contact and spend increasing amounts of time together.
Signs and Stages of Love Bombing
C ommon signs that someone is love bombing another person may include:
Love bombing tactics are intended to overwhelm the target and make them feel as if they’ve found a true connection. Many love bombers intend for their target to spend increasingly less time with friends and family in favor of spending time with the perpetrator.
But after an early period of affection and attention (often referred to as idealization ), love bombers will typically start to engage in more openly aggressive and harmful tactics—such as withdrawing affection when angry, insulting the other person, attempting to control their appearance or behavior, berating them for small mistakes, or even engaging in physical abuse. This period is often referred to as devaluation . Cycling between periods of idealization and devaluation is common; indeed, returning to overly affectionate behavior can be a way for the perpetrator to “make up for” the abuse that occurred during the devaluating phase and keep the other person invested in the relationship in spite of its obvious problems.
What exactly constitutes love bombing has not been extensively studied, and it can at times be difficult to tell whether a “love bomber” is engaging in deliberately manipulative behavior. Other explanations for overly affectionate behavior patterns—such as genuine adoration, social awkwardness, or mere naivete—also exist.
Explore More About Love Bombing
For a comprehensive understanding of love bombing, read our complete guide: