Shame and Values: Living by What Matters Most

How clarifying your values provides direction through Shame and supports long-term recovery.

Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for shame and provides direction when shame removes other navigational tools.

Why Values Matter for Shame

Shame often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:

  • Direction when shame has eliminated other motivation
  • Meaning that persists even through difficult shame periods
  • A basis for action independent of how shame makes you feel

Clarifying Your Values with Shame

Ask yourself: 'If my shame were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'

Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.

Values-Based Action in Shame

ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when shame is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite shame, are more sustainable than waiting for shame to lift first.

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