Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for marriage and provides direction when marriage removes other navigational tools.
Why Values Matter for Marriage
Marriage often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:
- Direction when marriage has eliminated other motivation
- Meaning that persists even through difficult marriage periods
- A basis for action independent of how marriage makes you feel
Clarifying Your Values with Marriage
Ask yourself: 'If my marriage were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'
Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.
Values-Based Action in Marriage
ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when marriage is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite marriage, are more sustainable than waiting for marriage to lift first.