Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for limerence and provides direction when limerence removes other navigational tools.
Why Values Matter for Limerence
Limerence often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:
- Direction when limerence has eliminated other motivation
- Meaning that persists even through difficult limerence periods
- A basis for action independent of how limerence makes you feel
Clarifying Your Values with Limerence
Ask yourself: 'If my limerence were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'
Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.
Values-Based Action in Limerence
ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when limerence is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite limerence, are more sustainable than waiting for limerence to lift first.