Modern understanding of limerence increasingly centers on the nervous system — specifically, the chronic dysregulation that underlies many limerence presentations.
The Nervous System in Limerence
The autonomic nervous system has two primary states relevant to limerence:
Sympathetic activation ('fight or flight'): When chronically activated, drives anxiety-type limerence
Parasympathetic ('rest and digest'): The recovery state — undermined by limerence
Dorsal vagal shutdown: A third state — freeze/collapse — associated with depression-type limerence
Signs of Nervous System Dysregulation in Limerence
Chronic hyperarousal (always 'on edge'), difficulty relaxing even in safe environments, and feeling perpetually exhausted despite rest.
Regulating the Nervous System for Limerence
- Breathwork: Directly activates the parasympathetic nervous system
- Cold exposure: Controlled cold activates the vagus nerve, improving limerence
- Safe social engagement: Co-regulation through trusted relationships
- Movement: Discharges sympathetic activation accumulated in limerence