Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for infidelity and provides direction when infidelity removes other navigational tools.
Why Values Matter for Infidelity
Infidelity often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:
- Direction when infidelity has eliminated other motivation
- Meaning that persists even through difficult infidelity periods
- A basis for action independent of how infidelity makes you feel
Clarifying Your Values with Infidelity
Ask yourself: 'If my infidelity were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'
Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.
Values-Based Action in Infidelity
ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when infidelity is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite infidelity, are more sustainable than waiting for infidelity to lift first.