The fight-flight-freeze stress response is the biological foundation of many infidelity presentations. Understanding it demystifies infidelity and points toward effective interventions.
The Three Stress Responses in Infidelity
Fight: Anger, aggression, irritability — infidelity channeled outward
Flight: Avoidance, escape, withdrawal — the most common infidelity behavioral pattern
Freeze: Paralysis, numbness, shutdown — depression and dissociation-type infidelity
How Chronic Activation Drives Infidelity
When the stress response activates repeatedly or doesn't turn off, it creates the chronic physiological state underlying infidelity: elevated cortisol, dysregulated neurotransmitters, disrupted sleep.
Working With Your Stress Response in Infidelity
- Name it: 'My nervous system is in fight/flight/freeze right now'
- Move: Physical movement discharges the mobilization energy of fight/flight
- Breathe: Activates the off-switch for the stress response
- Connect: Safe social engagement signals to the nervous system that the threat has passed