Avoiding vulnerability is a common bullying response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and bullying opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Bullying
- Concealing bullying from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when bullying is high is enormous
- Shame about bullying thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of bullying often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Bullying
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in bullying) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and bullying. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Bullying
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.