Co-regulation — the calming of our nervous system through connection with a regulated other — is one of the most powerful and underappreciated bullying interventions.
What Co-Regulation Is and Why It Matters for Bullying
Humans are social mammals whose nervous systems are literally designed to be regulated through connection. When someone calm and safe is with us, our nervous systems naturally mirror theirs.
This is why bullying tends to worsen in isolation and improve with genuine connection.
Co-Regulation in Bullying Treatment
The therapeutic relationship provides co-regulation — a calm, regulated presence that directly helps the client's nervous system settle during bullying.
Safe relationships in daily life serve the same function. This is part of why social isolation is so damaging for bullying.
Building Co-Regulatory Relationships for Bullying
- Identify people whose presence tends to calm rather than activate your bullying
- Intentionally spend time with these people during difficult bullying periods
- Pets provide co-regulation for many people with bullying
- Therapeutic relationships (therapist, psychiatrist) provide professional co-regulation