Borderline personality disorder is a condition characterized by instability and impulsivity. The term originates from being on the “border” of psychosis —those with the condition seem to have a different sense of reality.
Relationships with People Who Have BPD
Close friendships, romance, and family bonds are often what people on the borderline crave the most, and they often move in whirlwind style to win over others. But sustaining intimacy is a colossal challenge, as the disorder embodies a poignant paradox: Sufferers yearn for closeness, but their overriding insecurity tends to drive away those most dear. Despite the self-defeating actions they typically deploy, it is not impossible for them to get beyond the histrionics to maintain closeness—and the very stability of a partner often proves curative.
Instability, volatility, and drama are central features of relationships with borderline individuals. You may feel fantastic when the person is in good spirits and crushed when they are not. People with borderline respond to fears of abandonment with neediness, which may come across as clingy text messages or stalking behaviors, or they may respond with anger and fury. They may be hypervigilant for real or imagined signs of rejection or abandonment should you, for example, be late, cancel an appointment, or talk to someone they see as competition . A continual sense of distrust may lead to a distorted sense of reality and paranoia .
Even those who recover from BPD are unlikely to ever be low-maintenance partners and friends. Loved ones need to develop skills such as stress management, self-care, and maintaining good boundaries so they can look out for themselves while helping their partner.
The following tips can help a loved one with BPD and strengthen bonds:
Explore More About Borderline Personality Disorder
For a comprehensive understanding of borderline personality disorder, read our complete guide: