Trust—or the belief that someone or something can be relied on to do what they say they will—is a key element of social relationships and a foundation for cooperation . It is critical for romantic relationships , friendships, interactions between strangers, and social groups on a large scale, and a lack of trust in such scenarios can come with serious consequences. Indeed, society as a whole would likely fail to function in the absence of trust.
The sense that one can depend on another person lays the groundwork for social exchanges yielding benefits like affection, a sense of security, and achievements that would be impossible alone. When trust is absent—or someone betrays the trust that has been invested in them—the possibility of a successful future relationship diminishes.
Trust comes in as many varieties as there are links between people. In well-functioning relationships, individuals can trust that a parent or romantic partner will show them love, that business partners will hold up their end of a deal, and that someone in a position of power will wield it responsibly. To an extent, people also trust complete strangers—doctors, taxi drivers, first-time babysitters—to follow social rules and not to take advantage of them or their loved ones despite the opportunity.
Trust is a cornerstone of any social relationship , whether romantic, professional, or between friends. People who trust each other can work together more effectively at home, at work, or elsewhere. They are also more willing to share intimate information, which can reduce the risk of anxiety and depression and build a stronger sense of self.
Key Takeaways
- Trust affects mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing
- Understanding trust is the first step toward managing it
- Evidence-based approaches can significantly improve outcomes
- Building daily habits is more effective than one-time interventions
The Roots of Distrust
Some people can be highly trusting of others, which is often a matter of personality; people higher on the personality trait of agreeableness, for example, tend to more readily indicate that they find other people trustworthy. But for others—particularly those who have been victimized or betrayed in the past—building trust can be a slow, laborious process; for some, it may feel downright impossible.
Many people who are consistently distrusting have good reason for being so. But a tendency not to trust others can have severe consequences in a number of domains—particularly interpersonal relationships—and can exacerbate loneliness , depression, or antisocial behavior. Though mistrustful individuals often feel as though they have a right to feel that way, working with a professional to identify the root cause of trust issues and take steps toward overcoming them can be immensely helpful for improving well-being and cultivating healthy relationships.
Anxiety can make it difficult to know who to trust. But while negative emotions, including anxiety, may result in excessive distrust , that’s not the only possible outcome. In one study, anxious participants actually found it more difficult to recognize untrustworthy people , and continued to collaborate with them even when their behavior did not warrant it.
Chronic distrust—colloquially known as “trust issues”—have several possible sources. For some, early relationships with caregivers taught them that their needs would not be met and that others would continuously let them down. Trauma can also damage trust ; traumatized individuals often find it difficult to let their guard down, even with loved ones. Trust issues may also be a matter of personality; naturally less agreeable people tend to be more prone to distrusting others.
Some people who struggle to trust can pinpoint a specific traumatic event that shattered their worldview. For others, it may be a matter of personality; less agreeable individuals, for instance, tend to be less trusting. Distrust may also be due to neglectful or distant caregivers relaying early-life messages that others cannot be consistently relied on.
Feeling eternally distrusted by a partner can be enormously painful. In some cases, personality disorders (such as borderline personality disorder ) may lead people to “test” their partner’s trustworthiness with repeated accusations. Other distrustful partners may have been hurt in the past, or grew up in an environment where a trusting nature was taken advantage of.
How to Improve and Repair Trust
On an interpersonal level, the ability to trust others who have earned it—and, in certain instances, to repair trust after it’s been broken—are essential to emotional well-being and strong, healthy relationships. On a larger scale, improving trust between group members can help workplaces, organizations, and societies function more smoothly by increasing social harmony and laying the groundwork for heightened productivity .
While improving trust isn’t always easy—and takes serious dedication from all parties involved—it is possible the majority of the time. Moving slowly when necessary, communicating honestly, and following through on promises are all key to building trust, whether between individuals, within an organization, or between countries.
Romantic partners, friends, or family members can build trust in their relationship through mutual respect; open, honest communication; engaging in an equal amount of give and take; and gradually displaying more vulnerability around each other. Following through on promises consistently also helps to build trust over time.
Yes, but it can be difficult. Betrayed individuals who are struggling to trust may find it helpful to work with a therapist. They can also take “calculated risks” around those they are considering trusting—sharing a small bit of intimate information and observing how it is received and how they feel—before gradually increasing their investment.
Partners can regain trust after infidelity through a process of rigorous honesty—from both parties—and through the slow, deliberate demonstration that the trust-breaker is sorry, has taken responsibility for their actions, and can be counted on going forward. Working with a therapist can help many couples navigate this process in a healthy, respectful way.
Learning to trust oneself requires self-compassion and patience. Many people who don’t trust their own instincts or second-guess their choices received early-life messages that they were unimportant, unintelligent, or otherwise “bad.” Deliberately identifying and challenging those messages—with the help of a trusted therapist, if necessary—is necessary to regaining self-trust.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly is trust?
Trust—or the belief that someone or something can be relied on to do what they say they will—is a key element of social relationships and a foundation for cooperation . It is critical for romantic relationships , friendships, interactions between strangers, and social groups on a large scale, and a lack of trust in such scenarios can come with serious consequences. Indeed, society as a whole would
Is trust a serious condition?
Trust exists on a spectrum. While mild forms are a normal part of life, persistent or severe trust can significantly impact daily functioning and quality of life. It's important to seek professional support if trust is interfering with work, relationships, or wellbeing.
Learn More
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