Knowing how to help someone with trauma — and what not to do — makes a real difference in their experience and your relationship.
Understanding Trauma Before You Help
Before you can effectively help someone with trauma, it helps to understand what it actually is. Trauma isn't a choice or personality weakness — it involves real neurological and psychological processes.
What to Say (and What Not to Say)
Helpful:
- 'I'm here for you and I care about you'
- 'That sounds really hard — I'm listening'
- 'What would be most helpful right now?'
Not helpful:
- 'Just think positive'
- 'Other people have it worse'
- 'You should just...'
Encouraging Professional Help for Trauma
Gently encourage professional support without pressuring. Offer to help research therapists or accompany them to appointments.
Taking Care of Yourself as a Support Person
Supporting someone with trauma is emotionally demanding. Set boundaries, seek your own support, and remember you can't fix their trauma for them.