Avoiding vulnerability is a common trauma bonding response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and trauma bonding opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Trauma Bonding
- Concealing trauma bonding from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when trauma bonding is high is enormous
- Shame about trauma bonding thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of trauma bonding often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Trauma Bonding
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in trauma bonding) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and trauma bonding. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Trauma Bonding
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.