People whose gender identity or expression does not conform to the sex they were assigned at birth are transgender. While individuals may be assigned to a sex at birth based on how they present biologically, their sense of their gender may differ. A trans man is a man who was identified as female at birth, and a trans woman is a woman who was identified as male. ( Transsexual is an older term that referred to trans individuals who sought or undertook intervention to change their bodies.)
When Transgender Becomes Part of Your Identity
Living with transgender over time can lead to a fusion of identity and diagnosis. You may find yourself thinking "I am transgender" rather than "I have transgender." This identity fusion has significant consequences:
- Reduces motivation (why try if this is just who I am?)
- Increases shame and stigma internalization
- Makes recovery feel like losing part of yourself
- Limits how others see you (and how you see yourself)
Reclaiming a Multidimensional Identity
Your identity is vastly larger than transgender. A powerful exercise: complete this sentence 20 times with anything other than your struggles:
"I am someone who ___________"
Values, roles, relationships, interests, history, capabilities — all form your identity.
Transgender as One Chapter, Not the Whole Story
Narrative therapy offers a powerful reframe: transgender is one story in a much larger life narrative. You are the author, not the character defined by struggle.
Externalizing the problem: Practice talking about "Transgender that visits me" rather than "my Transgender." This linguistic shift creates psychological distance and agency.
Building Identity Beyond Transgender
- Invest in relationships that see your full self, not just your struggles
- Pursue interests unrelated to mental health — art, sport, learning, creativity
- Find meaning — purpose larger than symptom management provides identity anchor
- Contribute to others — giving to others builds positive identity components
- Celebrate growth — document how you've changed, overcome, adapted
The Strengths That Transgender Builds
Many people find that navigating transgender develops genuine strengths: deep empathy, resilience, self-awareness, creativity, and a hard-won wisdom about what matters in life.