Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This may take the form of denying your own emotions or someone else denying your emotions, insisting on positive thinking instead. Although setting aside difficult emotions is sometimes necessary temporarily, denying negative feelings long term is harmful because it can prevent people from processing their emotions and overcoming their distress.
Consequences, Examples, Signs, and Controversies
As the famous Robert Frost saying goes, “The best way over is through.” Negative emotions are difficult to deal with—but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t feel them. Feeling all of our emotions in full, whether positive or negative, is part of being human and navigating the world.
Emotional suppression doesn’t only fail to resolve the underlying problem, but it can also breed guilt , shame, sadness, and anxiety . It can even backfire by magnifying suppressed feelings.
Emotions contain important information; they can point the way toward changes that lead to fulfillment, happiness , and meaning. Genuine emotional expression also fosters authenticity , which is an essential ingredient of well-being .
Toxic positivity hinges on the failure to acknowledge or accept someone’s negative emotions. A few examples include:
How to Process Emotions and Provide Support
People who exude positivity and ignore negativity often mean well. They may think they’re offering encouragement and support, or they may not know what to say during a difficult conversation and wind up saying the wrong thing.
While toxic positivity may not be ill-intentioned, it can still be unproductive and hurtful. People may feel like their emotions are dismissed or like the other person doesn’t understand, care, or empathize. This can prevent them from being vulnerable and sharing their struggles in the future.
Relationships are built on vulnerability, trust, and authenticity. It’s key to understand how to acknowledge and support other people’s emotional experiences.
To avoid toxic positivity, try to acknowledge, accept, and reframe negative emotions. For example, instead of saying, "Think positive,” say something like, "The way you’re feeling is valid. How can I help you?" The same approach can be applied to your own thoughts.
Explore More About Toxic Positivity
For a comprehensive understanding of toxic positivity, read our complete guide: