Avoiding vulnerability is a common therapeutic alliance response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and therapeutic alliance opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Therapeutic Alliance
- Concealing therapeutic alliance from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when therapeutic alliance is high is enormous
- Shame about therapeutic alliance thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of therapeutic alliance often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Therapeutic Alliance
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in therapeutic alliance) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and therapeutic alliance. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Therapeutic Alliance
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.