People constantly evaluate themselves, and others, in domains like attractiveness , wealth, intelligence , and success. According to some studies, as much as 10 percent of our thoughts involve comparisons of some kind. Social comparison theory is the idea that individuals determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others. The theory was developed in 1954 by psychologist Leon Festinger. Later research has shown that people who regularly compare themselves to
The Benefits of Comparison
When individuals compare themselves to others as a way of measuring their personal development or to motivate themselves to improve and, in the process, develop a more positive self-image , comparisons can be beneficial. It takes discipline, however, to avoid the pitfalls of negative comparison. In large part, how we react to comparisons depends on who we compare ourselves to: When we just want to feel better about ourselves, we tend to engage in comparisons to people worse off than we are, although this can become an unhealthy habit. When we want to improve, though, we may compare ourselves to people roughly similar to us but higher achieving in one trait or another.
Social comparison can be highly beneficial when people use social networks to push themselves . In a study, friendly competition was highly effective in pushing people to exercise more, as peers pushed each other to keep up and do more. In such a "social ratchet effect," each person’s activity generates more activity among others. Social networks in which people simply offered each other positive encouragement were far less helpful.
People generally engage in either upward or downward comparisons. In upward comparisons, we compare ourselves with those we believe are better than us in some way; in downward comparisons, we do the opposite. Research, unsurprisingly, finds that downward comparisons make us feel better about ourselves , but that there are dangers to each approach—insecurity and jealousy , or overconfidence and arrogance.
Envy is usually an unpleasant feeling that can lead to brooding, resentment, or even violence. Some psychologists, however, have suggested that people can experience “benign” envy, in which they use envious feelings as motivation to improve themselves . Benign envy could lead someone, for example, to try to emulate the best qualities of a person who has what they want.
The Dangers of Comparison
Theodore Roosevelt called comparison “the thief of joy,” and he may have been right. Social comparison can motivate people to improve, but it can also promote judgmental, biased, and overly competitive or superior attitudes. Most people have the social skills and impulse control to keep their standards for social comparison to themselves, and not to act on any envy or resentment spurred by comparison-making. But their true feelings may manifest in other ways.
Comparisons are likelier to make us feel bad when we make the error of only comparing ourselves to paragons of certain traits. For example, many people believe they have a less active social life than others. But when making such comparisons, people tend to compare themselves only to the most social people they know. Understanding this bias can help us make more realistic and motivating comparisons.
Constantly checking social-media feeds full of images from parties, concerts, or other aspirational events can diminish self-esteem and contribute to depression . But some studies have found that such risks primarily affect those high in the trait of neuroticism , and others suggest that social-media use can reinforce self-esteem; for example, when people review their own images of good times with friends.
To be less vulnerable to painful comparisons, notice the people or events that prompt the behavior. Commit to being deeply grateful for what’s good in your own life. And remember that the human propensity to want what others have is such a waste of time, unless what you see and “covet” in another is something of deep worth , such as their generosity or kindness.
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