Perfectionism is both a driver and a symptom of singlehood. Understanding this relationship is essential for breaking the cycle.
How Perfectionism Feeds Singlehood
- Perfectionist standards are unachievable, guaranteeing chronic disappointment
- Harsh self-criticism when falling short of perfect standards directly drives singlehood
- Procrastination (a perfectionism avoidance strategy) creates shame and increases singlehood
- The gap between standards and reality is a constant source of singlehood
Types of Perfectionism in Singlehood
Self-oriented perfectionism: Unrealistically high personal standards Other-oriented perfectionism: Unrealistically high standards for others Socially prescribed perfectionism: Belief that others demand perfection from you
The last type has the strongest link to singlehood.
Moving from Perfectionism to Excellence
Excellence — doing your best with available resources — is compatible with singlehood management. Perfectionism — doing it perfectly or not at all — is not.
CBT and ACT are particularly effective for the perfectionism-singlehood cycle.