Sexual abuse is any sexual activity that occurs without consent. Also referred to as sexual assault or sexual violence, it includes unwanted sexual touching, forced oral sex, and rape, among other sexual acts. No matter which act occurs, it’s not the survivor’s fault that they were assaulted—and help is available to begin healing from such abuse.
When Sexual Abuse Becomes Part of Your Identity
Living with sexual abuse over time can lead to a fusion of identity and diagnosis. You may find yourself thinking "I am sexual abuse" rather than "I have sexual abuse." This identity fusion has significant consequences:
- Reduces motivation (why try if this is just who I am?)
- Increases shame and stigma internalization
- Makes recovery feel like losing part of yourself
- Limits how others see you (and how you see yourself)
Reclaiming a Multidimensional Identity
Your identity is vastly larger than sexual abuse. A powerful exercise: complete this sentence 20 times with anything other than your struggles:
"I am someone who ___________"
Values, roles, relationships, interests, history, capabilities — all form your identity.
Sexual Abuse as One Chapter, Not the Whole Story
Narrative therapy offers a powerful reframe: sexual abuse is one story in a much larger life narrative. You are the author, not the character defined by struggle.
Externalizing the problem: Practice talking about "Sexual Abuse that visits me" rather than "my Sexual Abuse." This linguistic shift creates psychological distance and agency.
Building Identity Beyond Sexual Abuse
- Invest in relationships that see your full self, not just your struggles
- Pursue interests unrelated to mental health — art, sport, learning, creativity
- Find meaning — purpose larger than symptom management provides identity anchor
- Contribute to others — giving to others builds positive identity components
- Celebrate growth — document how you've changed, overcome, adapted
The Strengths That Sexual Abuse Builds
Many people find that navigating sexual abuse develops genuine strengths: deep empathy, resilience, self-awareness, creativity, and a hard-won wisdom about what matters in life.