On the eve of each new year, people commit to making lifestyle changes they believe will usher in personal satisfaction and happiness . But while an entire industry exists to help people meet these pressing goals , most individuals still flounder. How many times can a person try to lose weight, quit smoking , cut back alcohol consumption, or try to find a more suitable purpose in life? One answer: As many times as it takes to get it right.
How Self-Help Affects Workplace Relationships
Self-Help can create unique challenges in professional relationships. Symptoms may be misread by colleagues and managers who lack context about what you're experiencing.
Common misunderstandings:
- Quietness or withdrawal interpreted as disinterest or rudeness
- Reduced output during difficult periods seen as laziness
- Difficulty with conflict or assertiveness affecting professional standing
- Physical symptoms (fatigue, headaches) misread as lack of commitment
To Disclose or Not to Disclose?
Whether to tell colleagues or managers about self-help is a deeply personal decision with real tradeoffs.
Reasons to disclose:
- Receive accommodations (flexible hours, remote work)
- Reduce self-monitoring and masking energy drain
- Build authentic relationships with trusted colleagues
- Access HR support and legal protections
Reasons not to disclose:
- Stigma and changed perceptions remain real risks
- Information may spread beyond intended recipients
- Not legally required in most situations
- May prefer keeping work and health separate
Middle path: Disclose the impact ("I work best in the morning") without the diagnosis if full disclosure feels too vulnerable.
Setting Boundaries at Work
- Energy management: Protect peak hours for high-demand work
- Meeting hygiene: Push back on unnecessary meetings that drain resources
- After-hours communication: Set clear expectations about response time
- Workload conversations: Proactively discuss capacity with managers rather than silently struggling
Building Supportive Workplace Relationships
- Identify 1–2 colleagues who can be trusted confidants
- Participate in team activities that align with your energy
- Communicate proactively when self-help affects your work
- Seek managers who prioritize psychological safety and results over presenteeism