One of the most counterintuitive truths about self-esteem: the struggle against it often makes it worse. Acceptance — clearly misunderstood — is one of the most powerful tools available.
What Acceptance of Self-Esteem Actually Means
Acceptance does NOT mean:
- Liking or approving of self-esteem
- Giving up on getting better
- Thinking self-esteem is okay
Acceptance DOES mean:
- Acknowledging self-esteem without adding unnecessary struggle against the fact of its existence
- Allowing self-esteem to be present without fighting it into bigger problems
- Making room for self-esteem while still living your values
The ACT Approach to Self-Esteem
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) uses acceptance as a core tool: instead of fighting self-esteem, you learn to make room for it while committing to valued action regardless.
The Paradox of Accepting Self-Esteem
Many people find that when they stop fighting self-esteem and simply allow it, it loses intensity. The suffering of self-esteem is partly the struggle against it.