Knowing how to help someone with self-control — and what not to do — makes a real difference in their experience and your relationship.
Understanding Self-Control Before You Help
Before you can effectively help someone with self-control, it helps to understand what it actually is. Self-Control isn't a choice or personality weakness — it involves real neurological and psychological processes.
What to Say (and What Not to Say)
Helpful:
- 'I'm here for you and I care about you'
- 'That sounds really hard — I'm listening'
- 'What would be most helpful right now?'
Not helpful:
- 'Just think positive'
- 'Other people have it worse'
- 'You should just...'
Encouraging Professional Help for Self-Control
Gently encourage professional support without pressuring. Offer to help research therapists or accompany them to appointments.
Taking Care of Yourself as a Support Person
Supporting someone with self-control is emotionally demanding. Set boundaries, seek your own support, and remember you can't fix their self-control for them.