Self-control—or the ability to manage one's impulses, emotions, and behaviors to achieve long-term goals —is what separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. Self-control is primarily rooted in the prefrontal cortex—the planning, problem-solving, and decision-making center of the brain—which is significantly larger in humans than in other mammals.
How Self-Control Affects Workplace Relationships
Self-Control can create unique challenges in professional relationships. Symptoms may be misread by colleagues and managers who lack context about what you're experiencing.
Common misunderstandings:
- Quietness or withdrawal interpreted as disinterest or rudeness
- Reduced output during difficult periods seen as laziness
- Difficulty with conflict or assertiveness affecting professional standing
- Physical symptoms (fatigue, headaches) misread as lack of commitment
To Disclose or Not to Disclose?
Whether to tell colleagues or managers about self-control is a deeply personal decision with real tradeoffs.
Reasons to disclose:
- Receive accommodations (flexible hours, remote work)
- Reduce self-monitoring and masking energy drain
- Build authentic relationships with trusted colleagues
- Access HR support and legal protections
Reasons not to disclose:
- Stigma and changed perceptions remain real risks
- Information may spread beyond intended recipients
- Not legally required in most situations
- May prefer keeping work and health separate
Middle path: Disclose the impact ("I work best in the morning") without the diagnosis if full disclosure feels too vulnerable.
Setting Boundaries at Work
- Energy management: Protect peak hours for high-demand work
- Meeting hygiene: Push back on unnecessary meetings that drain resources
- After-hours communication: Set clear expectations about response time
- Workload conversations: Proactively discuss capacity with managers rather than silently struggling
Building Supportive Workplace Relationships
- Identify 1–2 colleagues who can be trusted confidants
- Participate in team activities that align with your energy
- Communicate proactively when self-control affects your work
- Seek managers who prioritize psychological safety and results over presenteeism