Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instills fear in an individual to control them. The individual's reality may become distorted as they internalize the abuse as their own failings.
What Is Emotional Abuse?
An isolated occurrence doesn’t necessarily qualify as emotional abuse, but a pattern of behavior that creates fear and control does. Such mistreatment can occur in a range of interpersonal contexts, including a parental relationship, a romantic relationship , or a professional relationship.
People who suffer emotional abuse can experience short-term difficulties such as confusion, fear, difficulty concentrating, and low confidence , as well as nightmares, aches, and a racing heart. Long-term repercussions may include anxiety , insomnia , and social withdrawal.
Emotional abuse centers around control, manipulation, isolation, and demeaning or threatening behavior. Signs of abuse include :
• Monitoring and controlling a person’s behavior, such as who they spend time with or how they spend money.
How Can You Heal from Abuse?
A first step to healing from emotional abuse is leaving the relationship. Leaving an abusive relationship is challenging but completely possible. Victims must come to recognize that reasoning with an abuser is not effective and that the individual will probably never change. To begin to heal, experts advise those leaving an emotionally abusive relationship to seek support from their social circle and often a therapist.
Victims of emotional abuse are often worn down so that they cannot see the harmful dynamics clearly. They come to believe that the relationship challenges are their own fault. They may spend time ruminating and bargaining, considering how they can adapt their behavior or avoid confrontation. Victims may struggle with problems of self-esteem , as well as anxiety and depression.
Childhood verbal abuse can include constant criticism, put-downs, and rejection. Parents may stop the child from expressing anger or sadness, thereby stifling their range of emotions. The brain also inflates the prominence of negative experiences compared to positive experiences, which renders parental abuse deeply ingrained. (It also makes it nearly impossible for an affectionate parent to counter the effects of an abusive parent.) Childhood abuse can lead to emotional pain, anxiety, depression, self-criticism, low self-esteem , and difficulty forming stable and trusting relationships. But therapy can help individuals process parental abuse and abandon the maladaptive coping mechanisms they developed in childhood.
Survivors of emotional abuse or domestic violence often remain tethered to the relationship longer than outsiders can understand. But there are many reasons why leaving is so difficult. Constant accusations and harassment can wear down the victim and lead to distorted thoughts, such as believing that she or he “deserves it” or that emotional abuse isn’t “real abuse.” Fear, damaged self-worth, concern for children or the family, financial constraints, and other factors can also lead victims to stay in abusive relationships.
Explore More About Emotional Abuse
For a comprehensive understanding of emotional abuse, read our complete guide: