Avoiding vulnerability is a common polyamory response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and polyamory opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Polyamory
- Concealing polyamory from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when polyamory is high is enormous
- Shame about polyamory thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of polyamory often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Polyamory
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in polyamory) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and polyamory. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Polyamory
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.