Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for polyamory and provides direction when polyamory removes other navigational tools.
Why Values Matter for Polyamory
Polyamory often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:
- Direction when polyamory has eliminated other motivation
- Meaning that persists even through difficult polyamory periods
- A basis for action independent of how polyamory makes you feel
Clarifying Your Values with Polyamory
Ask yourself: 'If my polyamory were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'
Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.
Values-Based Action in Polyamory
ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when polyamory is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite polyamory, are more sustainable than waiting for polyamory to lift first.