Cognitive distortions — systematic errors in thinking — are both symptoms and drivers of polyamory. Identifying and correcting them is core to CBT.
Common Cognitive Distortions in Polyamory
All-or-nothing thinking: 'I failed once, therefore I always fail' — common in polyamory
Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case outcome for polyamory-related situations
Mind reading: Assuming others are judging you negatively
Fortune telling: Predicting negative polyamory-related outcomes as facts
Emotional reasoning: 'I feel like I'm failing, therefore I am' — polyamory emotions mistaken for evidence
Should statements: Rigid rules about how you or others must behave that create polyamory when violated
Correcting Cognitive Distortions in Polyamory
The CBT process: identify the distorted thought → examine the evidence → generate a more balanced alternative → notice the effect on polyamory.
With practice, cognitive restructuring becomes automatic and polyamory loses much of its staying power.