One of the most counterintuitive truths about polyamory: the struggle against it often makes it worse. Acceptance — clearly misunderstood — is one of the most powerful tools available.
What Acceptance of Polyamory Actually Means
Acceptance does NOT mean:
- Liking or approving of polyamory
- Giving up on getting better
- Thinking polyamory is okay
Acceptance DOES mean:
- Acknowledging polyamory without adding unnecessary struggle against the fact of its existence
- Allowing polyamory to be present without fighting it into bigger problems
- Making room for polyamory while still living your values
The ACT Approach to Polyamory
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) uses acceptance as a core tool: instead of fighting polyamory, you learn to make room for it while committing to valued action regardless.
The Paradox of Accepting Polyamory
Many people find that when they stop fighting polyamory and simply allow it, it loses intensity. The suffering of polyamory is partly the struggle against it.