Co-regulation — the calming of our nervous system through connection with a regulated other — is one of the most powerful and underappreciated personality disorders interventions.
What Co-Regulation Is and Why It Matters for Personality Disorders
Humans are social mammals whose nervous systems are literally designed to be regulated through connection. When someone calm and safe is with us, our nervous systems naturally mirror theirs.
This is why personality disorders tends to worsen in isolation and improve with genuine connection.
Co-Regulation in Personality Disorders Treatment
The therapeutic relationship provides co-regulation — a calm, regulated presence that directly helps the client's nervous system settle during personality disorders.
Safe relationships in daily life serve the same function. This is part of why social isolation is so damaging for personality disorders.
Building Co-Regulatory Relationships for Personality Disorders
- Identify people whose presence tends to calm rather than activate your personality disorders
- Intentionally spend time with these people during difficult personality disorders periods
- Pets provide co-regulation for many people with personality disorders
- Therapeutic relationships (therapist, psychiatrist) provide professional co-regulation