One of the most counterintuitive truths about personality change: the struggle against it often makes it worse. Acceptance — clearly misunderstood — is one of the most powerful tools available.
What Acceptance of Personality Change Actually Means
Acceptance does NOT mean:
- Liking or approving of personality change
- Giving up on getting better
- Thinking personality change is okay
Acceptance DOES mean:
- Acknowledging personality change without adding unnecessary struggle against the fact of its existence
- Allowing personality change to be present without fighting it into bigger problems
- Making room for personality change while still living your values
The ACT Approach to Personality Change
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) uses acceptance as a core tool: instead of fighting personality change, you learn to make room for it while committing to valued action regardless.
The Paradox of Accepting Personality Change
Many people find that when they stop fighting personality change and simply allow it, it loses intensity. The suffering of personality change is partly the struggle against it.