Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for passive-aggression and provides direction when passive-aggression removes other navigational tools.
Why Values Matter for Passive-Aggression
Passive-Aggression often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:
- Direction when passive-aggression has eliminated other motivation
- Meaning that persists even through difficult passive-aggression periods
- A basis for action independent of how passive-aggression makes you feel
Clarifying Your Values with Passive-Aggression
Ask yourself: 'If my passive-aggression were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'
Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.
Values-Based Action in Passive-Aggression
ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when passive-aggression is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite passive-aggression, are more sustainable than waiting for passive-aggression to lift first.