How Midlife Affects Your Relationships

Discover how Midlife impacts personal relationships and what you can do about it.

Midlife or middle age is that transitional period of life between young adulthood and old age. Middle-aged people often undergo significant changes in their relationships, jobs, and health and their appearance.

Does Everyone Have a Midlife Crisis?

The notion of the “midlife crisis” often centers on major life disruptions seen as typical to this stage of life, such as job loss, divorce , the death of parents, or the departure of children from the home. An acute sense of one’s own aging and the required efforts required to compensate for it also typically factor into perceptions of middle-age angst. But is a midlife crisis really a normal part of the lifespan, something just about everyone should expect to experience? Research suggests otherwise.

Some people undoubtedly do go through crises or rough patches after their 30s, and researchers have built a case that, on average, life satisfaction decreases somewhat during midlife—before rising again in the senior years. However, there is great variation between individuals, and many people achieve new highs at work or in other domains during these years.

Midlife is a time when people reassess their life, come to terms with their limitations, and confront regrets about the past. Someone who is middle-aged may have to deal with illness, financial issues, career shifts, marital problems, divorce, death, and the early stages of mental or physical decline. This makes it difficult to build a midlife worth living , and it’s not uncommon to experience an emotional or midlife crisis as a result.

A midlife crisis often involves mood irregularities (notably increased anger or irritability, anxiety , or sadness), weight loss or gain, sleep disruption, and withdrawal from the regular routine and relationships. People experiencing the middle-age slump generally have an urgent desire to make some drastic change.

Getting Older With the Right Mindset

Midlife often brings concerns about health, stagnancy in a long marriage , physical aging, elderly parents, being neck-deep in a child’s college tuition payments, mortgage fees, or anemic retirement funds. These worries are fertile ground for a confounding mindset that shouts: It's normal to feel dreadful at this stage.

Midlifers may buy into this negative thinking and embrace self-fulfilling prophecies. This is how a favorite hobby or pursuit comes to an end— I’m just too old now . In truth, this is the right stage in life to explore new experiences and opportunities. The knees may not work well on the ski slopes, but they might do fine learning a novel pastime, such as tai chi.

While this period may be a good interval to reassess one’s life, a life-altering midlife crisis is, in fact, far from inevitable.

It comes as no surprise that aging affects life satisfaction. Most middle-aged men and women will experience a dip sometime during their 40s or 50s before their satisfaction starts rising again (generally in their 60s). While it may be impossible to completely avoid the midlife happiness slump, understanding why it happens can help mitigate its negative effects. So can avoiding harmful comparisons to others who seem wealthier, more powerful, and happier in their relationships than you are.

Explore More About Midlife

For a comprehensive understanding of midlife, read our complete guide:

Complete Midlife Guide

Bringwise

Turn psychology into daily habits

5 minutes a day. Science-backed insights you can actually use.

Download Free