Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for mating and provides direction when mating removes other navigational tools.
Why Values Matter for Mating
Mating often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:
- Direction when mating has eliminated other motivation
- Meaning that persists even through difficult mating periods
- A basis for action independent of how mating makes you feel
Clarifying Your Values with Mating
Ask yourself: 'If my mating were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'
Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.
Values-Based Action in Mating
ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when mating is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite mating, are more sustainable than waiting for mating to lift first.