The 'window of tolerance' — a concept from trauma therapy — explains why low sexual desire pushes us into states where we can't function well, and how to expand our capacity.
What Is the Window of Tolerance?
The window of tolerance is the zone of arousal in which we function optimally. Outside it:
- Hyperarousal (low sexual desire 'too high'): Panic, overwhelm, rage, anxiety — above the window
- Hypoarousal (low sexual desire 'too low'): Numbness, dissociation, shutdown, depression — below the window
How Low Sexual Desire Narrows the Window
Trauma and chronic low sexual desire narrow the window of tolerance, making us more easily triggered into dysregulated states by smaller stimuli.
Widening Your Window with Low Sexual Desire
Trauma-informed therapy specifically works to widen the window of tolerance — building capacity to experience low sexual desire triggers without dysregulation.
Titrated exposure (small doses of difficult material), somatic practices, and skill-building all contribute to window expansion.