Perfectionism is both a driver and a symptom of sexual orientation. Understanding this relationship is essential for breaking the cycle.
How Perfectionism Feeds Sexual Orientation
- Perfectionist standards are unachievable, guaranteeing chronic disappointment
- Harsh self-criticism when falling short of perfect standards directly drives sexual orientation
- Procrastination (a perfectionism avoidance strategy) creates shame and increases sexual orientation
- The gap between standards and reality is a constant source of sexual orientation
Types of Perfectionism in Sexual Orientation
Self-oriented perfectionism: Unrealistically high personal standards Other-oriented perfectionism: Unrealistically high standards for others Socially prescribed perfectionism: Belief that others demand perfection from you
The last type has the strongest link to sexual orientation.
Moving from Perfectionism to Excellence
Excellence — doing your best with available resources — is compatible with sexual orientation management. Perfectionism — doing it perfectly or not at all — is not.
CBT and ACT are particularly effective for the perfectionism-sexual orientation cycle.