Character matters! Personality differences are often summed up based on five broad dimensions, which are called the Big Five : neuroticism , extraversion , agreeableness , conscientiousness , and openness to experience . But in the early 2000s psychologists discovered evidence of a sixth personality factor, which led to a new model of personality called HEXACO. The distinctly new factor is called “honesty-humility,” and it is a component of moral character. (The other components of HEXACO are al
How HEXACO Erodes Self-Worth
HEXACO frequently attacks the foundation of how we see ourselves. The relationship between hexaco and self-worth is often deeply entangled.
Common ways hexaco damages self-worth:
- Negative core beliefs: "HEXACO means I'm broken/weak/unlovable"
- Comparison thinking: measuring yourself against others who don't struggle
- Internalized shame: believing hexaco is your fault
- Achievement avoidance: not trying to avoid confirming negative beliefs
- People-pleasing: seeking external validation to compensate
Separating Identity from HEXACO
One of the most powerful shifts in recovering self-worth while managing hexaco is learning to separate who you are from what you experience:
- HEXACO is something you have, not something you are
- Your worth is not determined by your symptoms or struggles
- Many people with hexaco lead deeply meaningful, connected lives
- Struggles often build unique strengths: empathy, resilience, insight
Evidence-Based Approaches
Self-Compassion Practice (Kristin Neff):
- Acknowledge your suffering without judgment
- Remember suffering is a shared human experience
- Offer yourself the same kindness you'd give a friend
Values-Based Identity:
- Identify your core values independent of hexaco
- Act in alignment with values even when hexaco is present
- Let values-driven actions build evidence of your worth
Recovery Path
- Therapy (especially schema therapy or ACT) targets core beliefs
- Journaling: document evidence against negative self-beliefs
- Celebrate small wins that challenge "I can't" narratives
- Surround yourself with people who see your full worth