Knowing how to help someone with grit — and what not to do — makes a real difference in their experience and your relationship.
Understanding Grit Before You Help
Before you can effectively help someone with grit, it helps to understand what it actually is. Grit isn't a choice or personality weakness — it involves real neurological and psychological processes.
What to Say (and What Not to Say)
Helpful:
- 'I'm here for you and I care about you'
- 'That sounds really hard — I'm listening'
- 'What would be most helpful right now?'
Not helpful:
- 'Just think positive'
- 'Other people have it worse'
- 'You should just...'
Encouraging Professional Help for Grit
Gently encourage professional support without pressuring. Offer to help research therapists or accompany them to appointments.
Taking Care of Yourself as a Support Person
Supporting someone with grit is emotionally demanding. Set boundaries, seek your own support, and remember you can't fix their grit for them.