Avoiding vulnerability is a common gaslighting response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and gaslighting opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Gaslighting
- Concealing gaslighting from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when gaslighting is high is enormous
- Shame about gaslighting thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of gaslighting often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Gaslighting
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in gaslighting) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and gaslighting. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Gaslighting
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.