Gaslighting and Values: Living by What Matters Most

How clarifying your values provides direction through Gaslighting and supports long-term recovery.

Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for gaslighting and provides direction when gaslighting removes other navigational tools.

Why Values Matter for Gaslighting

Gaslighting often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:

  • Direction when gaslighting has eliminated other motivation
  • Meaning that persists even through difficult gaslighting periods
  • A basis for action independent of how gaslighting makes you feel

Clarifying Your Values with Gaslighting

Ask yourself: 'If my gaslighting were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'

Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.

Values-Based Action in Gaslighting

ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when gaslighting is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite gaslighting, are more sustainable than waiting for gaslighting to lift first.

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