Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory , their perception, and even their sanity. Over time, a gaslighter’s manipulations can grow more complex and potent, making it increasingly difficult for the victim to see the truth.
How Gaslighting Works
The term gaslighting comes from a 1938 play, Gas Light , and its film adaptation. Gaslighting can occur in personal or professional relationships, and victims are targeted at the core of their being: their sense of identity and self-worth . Manipulative people who engage in gaslighting do so to attain power over their victims, either because they simply derive warped enjoyment from the act or because they wish to emotionally, physically or financially control their victim.
A relationship with a gaslighter may seem to start out quite well. They may praise their target on a first date and immediately confide in them. Such disclosure, before any intimacy has been established, establishes trust quickly; it’s part of a tactic known as love bombing . The more quickly a victim becomes enamored, the more quickly the next phase of manipulation can begin.
A gaslighter will initially lie about simple things, but the volume of misinformation soon grows , and the gaslighter may accuse the victim of lying if he or she questions the narrative. They typically deploy occasional positive reinforcement to confuse the victim and keep them off balance, but at the same time, they may attempt to turn others against the victim, even their own friends and family, by telling them that the victim has been lying or is delusional.
Self-doubt may rise as the gaslighter insists that what the victim remembers, thinks, and feels is wrong. The manipulative individual may then introduce lies in more sensitive arenas, aiming to disrupt and distort foundational aspects of the victim’s being, wearing them down, establishing confusion, and forcing them to rely on the gaslighter’s version of reality.
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