One of the most counterintuitive truths about gaslighting: the struggle against it often makes it worse. Acceptance — clearly misunderstood — is one of the most powerful tools available.
What Acceptance of Gaslighting Actually Means
Acceptance does NOT mean:
- Liking or approving of gaslighting
- Giving up on getting better
- Thinking gaslighting is okay
Acceptance DOES mean:
- Acknowledging gaslighting without adding unnecessary struggle against the fact of its existence
- Allowing gaslighting to be present without fighting it into bigger problems
- Making room for gaslighting while still living your values
The ACT Approach to Gaslighting
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) uses acceptance as a core tool: instead of fighting gaslighting, you learn to make room for it while committing to valued action regardless.
The Paradox of Accepting Gaslighting
Many people find that when they stop fighting gaslighting and simply allow it, it loses intensity. The suffering of gaslighting is partly the struggle against it.