Values clarification — identifying what matters most to you at the deepest level — is a cornerstone of ACT therapy for flirting and provides direction when flirting removes other navigational tools.
Why Values Matter for Flirting
Flirting often disconnects us from our values through avoidance, withdrawal, and reduced capacity. Reconnecting with values provides:
- Direction when flirting has eliminated other motivation
- Meaning that persists even through difficult flirting periods
- A basis for action independent of how flirting makes you feel
Clarifying Your Values with Flirting
Ask yourself: 'If my flirting were less present, what would I be doing more of? What kind of person would I be?'
Values are not goals (achievable and done) but ongoing directions: being a present parent, creating beauty, contributing to others.
Values-Based Action in Flirting
ACT therapy teaches: act according to values even when flirting is present. Small values-aligned actions, despite flirting, are more sustainable than waiting for flirting to lift first.