Avoiding vulnerability is a common fantasies response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and fantasies opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Fantasies
- Concealing fantasies from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when fantasies is high is enormous
- Shame about fantasies thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of fantasies often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Fantasies
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in fantasies) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and fantasies. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Fantasies
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.