Avoiding vulnerability is a common emotional intelligence response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and emotional intelligence opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Emotional Intelligence
- Concealing emotional intelligence from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when emotional intelligence is high is enormous
- Shame about emotional intelligence thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of emotional intelligence often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Emotional Intelligence
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in emotional intelligence) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and emotional intelligence. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Emotional Intelligence
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.