Avoiding vulnerability is a common emotion regulation response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and emotion regulation opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Emotion Regulation
- Concealing emotion regulation from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when emotion regulation is high is enormous
- Shame about emotion regulation thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of emotion regulation often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Emotion Regulation
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in emotion regulation) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and emotion regulation. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Emotion Regulation
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.