Avoiding vulnerability is a common domestic violence response that ultimately worsens it. Understanding the paradoxical relationship between vulnerability and domestic violence opens new pathways for recovery.
How Avoiding Vulnerability Maintains Domestic Violence
- Concealing domestic violence from others prevents the connection that would help
- The energy required to maintain a facade when domestic violence is high is enormous
- Shame about domestic violence thrives in secrecy — vulnerability interrupts this
- Authentic expression of domestic violence often elicits the support that reduces it
Brené Brown's Research Relevance to Domestic Violence
Brown's research shows that people with high levels of shame (common in domestic violence) avoid vulnerability — which paradoxically increases shame and domestic violence. Courage to be vulnerable interrupts this cycle.
Practicing Vulnerability with Domestic Violence
Start small: share one authentic feeling with one trusted person. The feared negative response usually doesn't materialize — and when it doesn't, confidence in vulnerability builds.