One of the most counterintuitive truths about domestic violence: the struggle against it often makes it worse. Acceptance — clearly misunderstood — is one of the most powerful tools available.
What Acceptance of Domestic Violence Actually Means
Acceptance does NOT mean:
- Liking or approving of domestic violence
- Giving up on getting better
- Thinking domestic violence is okay
Acceptance DOES mean:
- Acknowledging domestic violence without adding unnecessary struggle against the fact of its existence
- Allowing domestic violence to be present without fighting it into bigger problems
- Making room for domestic violence while still living your values
The ACT Approach to Domestic Violence
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) uses acceptance as a core tool: instead of fighting domestic violence, you learn to make room for it while committing to valued action regardless.
The Paradox of Accepting Domestic Violence
Many people find that when they stop fighting domestic violence and simply allow it, it loses intensity. The suffering of domestic violence is partly the struggle against it.